middle age

i approach my next birthday with more than a little trepidation. surely by 35 everything should be trotting along quite nicely, career and long-term goals all on the horizon etc. and yet i still feel like a teenager trying to figure out what to do with my life. which way to turn? there are still so many things to do, places to go, books to read, music to listen to, i-pods to figure out.

i do have the sense though that i have grown up a little recently, the turning point undoubtedly becoming a parent. i no longer have parents and grandparents to run to, instead i am responsible for another life and yet i'm not sure if i am qualified for the job.