blah-blog
my blog has been quiet and boring of late, some people may think it is boring all the time! i just haven't felt like thinking or sharing. originally, i did not want this blog to be a personal, confess-all-and-every-detail-of-my-humdrum-existence-type blog, i wanted to write about things that interest me, things other than my two-year-old son who keeps me busy all day and, sometimes, night.
recently though my mind has been on other things, bigger things, not, what book shall i chose, what food shall i eat?, (although i have a craving for decent chinese that cannot be satisfied here). i can't be bothered with those things, my mind keeps drifting back to the eternal question, should i leave canada and go back to england? should we stay in canada and get citizenship? what is my perfect life? things that i don't really have answers to, just a gut feeling that i'm not sure if i want to be here anymore.
how do you make life's big decisions? i'm not an impulsive person and i can't be anymore, not with a kid and husband in tow. it's not just about me, or us, it's about what is best for our family and our gorgeous boy, and i really don't have an answer right now, i feel a bit stuck, not in a bad way, although sometimes i have found the situation gets me down. more and more often, i visualize myself shopping with my mum, having sunday lunch with my brother and his family, celebrating holidays, easter sunday, popping over to spain, or ireland to see the in-laws and, hopefully for them to come and spend time with us. we're too far away from our families and i think i need to feel closer to them.
the difficulty is that we have a lovely house, i like canada, the people here are friendly and easy-going, life is easy. i know if we move back to england we will hear a million times why we should have stayed in canada. not that i really care what other people think. it has to be the right decision for us all, not just me and material things aren't that important, are they?
posted by fivespice @ Saturday, June 10, 2006
12 Comments:
you know the grass is not always greener I came to Austrlaia to see the grass not 'coz I thought it was greener. But those big decisions are ones to be considered in the context of all effected by it as u point out.
Interestingly I always enjoy your blogs.
For a start, get a piece of paper and write down every positive and negative thing about staying put or moving back. Everything! Be brutally honest. Both of you.
And not just the "going shopping/doing Sunday lunch" things.
What are the financial implications? Money isn't everything (you can live happily on less always), but despite what people say, it can buy you some happiness.
Tomas' schooling prospects? An opporunity for you to work outside the home? (back to the long commutes to work) Canada may be a safer environment than Britain. The weather.
I know that we really enjoy the fact that Kaelan is close to many of his cousins on Carmels side, but I often regret that he may never know any from my side.
Then again Britain/Ireland have a less safe society and serious drug/drink problems. The health service in both countries are a mess.
I think it would be good for you if your readers gave their "two cents" as well.
thanks both of your for your opinions. i definitely do want to hear what you think, that's why i decided to write what is going on in my head at the moment, trying to ignore the emotions and be sensible about it.
i will post more on my thoughts once they are a bit more organised!
I too would like to hear peoples thoughts, sometimes I feel so close to all of this any objectivity I have is lost.
Of course, then again, perhaps I need to recognize that it will probably end up been an emotional/subjective decision we make rather than a rational/objective one.
I expect that whatever we decide it will not be the end, I expect we will wander in the future. I feel this is not about settling down but just moving on to some place that works better for where we are in our lives at the moment.
do what us right for the three of you, of course figuring tht out can be difficult but a big decision always is. I think it is best to lay al cards on the table and discuss options often. John is right in saying to consider Tomas's school and other prospects. ultimaly however I feel if you do well in one place you wil thrive in another also. The place itself is secondary
i think this is part of the problem at the moment, the decision itself feels so huge as to be insurmountable (if that is a real word).
Sometimes the big questions are too challenging to deal with face on.
I have adopted the approach of regarding this question as a journey of discovery. I am trying to have a playful and curious approach in examining the options and I am trying not to let fear drive too much of my thought process.
Most people go through life without much self-examination and then all of that self-examination they were meant to do happens in their dying few moments. I guess we are lucky we are doing some of this now so that we can improve and enjoy the rest of our life.
I know it is tiresome and draining for us but I am going to keep positive about it all!
Great blog, your posts have got an beautiful honesty. Love. Respect.
Most people go through life without much self-examination and then all of that self-examination they were meant to do happens in their dying few moments...
I think you're being a bit hard on people here. I believe that most people self-examine and do so regularly.
One of my friends partners is not interested in the same stuff as me, and cannot express herself as well as alot of people due to her lack of involvment in the education system.
However she has brought up three kids and dealt with alot of personal hardships in her life so far. I know that this has taken alot of self-examination.
And yes, I agree. Great blog. Love. Respect.
love and respect right back at you and thanks.
thanks for all your comments, they have cemented my/our desire to leave Canada or maybe just bringing these thoughts out into the open has helped us focus on what it is we truly desire. i'm not totally convinced that my yearnings are anything to do with green grass syndrome. i think maybe, unconsciously, i chose a partner who is also keen to explore all of life's pathways, wherever they may take us and i am very glad that i did.
Am after surfing in on this topic again and noticed a few NEW entries.
DAMN Blogger for not alerting you to any new posts.
Forgive me for being so DIRECT, but what are your latest thoughts on this subject?
i love a direct question! and yes, i think it would be great to figure out how to alert new posts to readers.
yes, this topic has seen a bit of a revival. i guess you could say that we are seriously investigating the possibility of relocating to europe, which is a step further than just talking about it. the job is key though so i don't imagine anything will happen in the immediate future although it could. don't worry, will keep you posted.
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